Doubts.

Doubts can kill your dreams, like doubts have killed mine.

They linger in your mind,

Like memories or your thoughts.

Like day dreams and your nightmares—

In length or at a short.

They stay with you forever,

They never let you go.

And everywhere you turn,

They just give another blow.

They cause you pain and heartache,

Let down your self esteem.

They hurt you every way they can,

While you walk a balance beam.

They kill the hopes that you once had—

The expectations for free.

They kill the love that held you once,

The passion dead to me.

I once held these great promises,

To make my mother proud.

I once held these great dreams,

But now they’ve all but bowed.

I once had this great passion,

To save lives and see them smile.

I once had this great love,

But now that’s just been filed.

Doubts can kill your dreams,

Like doubts have thus killed mine—

Killed them stone dead cold,

They never were, never will, be mine.

Boredom is a Bitch

Sitting here on my bed, I have to wonder, What has my life come to? As I posted on Facebook, it seems that sitting on my bed and staring at my laptop is starting to become a regular occurance these holidays. I'm actually getting quite sick of it. I need to do something, but it seems that I'm a lazy bitch with nothing better to do. It is a gross over exaggeration that I don't have anything to do or haven't done anything even remotely interesting over the week and a half I've been holidaying. In actual fact, I've been into the city many times. I've watched movies, shopped, walked, chatted and done homework, as yuck as that sounds. A lot of my time is consumed in deep and meaningless thought though. That is, watching TV without actually paying any attention to it.


In other news, I got Deputy School Captain, whoop. What a pleasant surprise for someone who was never intending to go for the position in the first place.

And Let There Be Pain

It is official. I hate braces. Not that I didn't before, it's just that I hate them a lot more now. Why this not so sudden change of heart? The entire left side of my mouth is throbbing in unbearable pain, causing me to stay awake at night, sobbing into my pillow while it comes and goes. It's been like this since last Friday night when it first started. Honestly, I don't know why it decided to accumulate right then and there just when I fell asleep, but the body works in strange ways that goes beyond my knowledge...


I went to see my orthodontist today, who said that from an orthodontic point of view, there was nothing wrong with me; and that my teeth were great. Then I went to see the dentist (who resides in the same clinic), who said that due to the flu I said I had had a week or so ago, my sinuses were probably blocked up and putting pressure on my upper left molars, as well as the rest of my mouth.


So, here I am now, all drugged up and sitting on the couch, writing this entry. The pain has subsided, and has been reduced to nothing (HOORAY), but I'm rather afraid of going to sleep tonight, because the pain generally accumulates... That's why I have resorted to sitting on my couch, writing this entry and watching House M.D. Season 1.


I think I may find something to eat now. Night all (: